Digital Smarts - Cyberbullying During COVID-19 : Spotting the Symptoms

Just because kids aren’t in school does not mean that cyberbullying is taking a rest. With an increase in kids and teens using digital platforms for personal use and online learning, kids who are prone to being bullied in school are likely to now be cyberbullied. When kids are stressed out and bored the opportunity to cyberbully can be appealing. In normal times, according to STOMP Out Bullying, 5.4 million children are afraid to go to school every day for fear of being bullied. “Imagine all those children that are now being home schooled online and afraid to sign into their accounts due to the same reason,” said Ross Ellis, founder and CEO of STOMP Out Bullying. “Children who have more free time on their hands may find additional screen time attractive and cyberbullying can become one of their activities.”

While teachers may be aware of conflicts during online learning sessions, they can only do so much to help children navigate the waters of cyberbullying. Parents need to also be vigilant to signs their children are being cyberbullied, but this can be hard in the present circumstances because some of the warning signs like depression, changes in eating habits and sleeping patterns, feelings of helplessness, and physical symptoms like headaches and upset stomach may also be reaction to being home for so long. Probably the clearest sign that something is wrong is when kids don’t want to go online, spend time on their usual social media apps, or check in with friends.

What can a parent do?

• If you don’t have one, now is the time to make a Family Internet Safety Agreement outlining the responsibilities that your kids must follow when using your home’s Internet service. Here is a sample you can use as an example to create one for your own household during the COVID-19 quarantine and beyond. And if you already have one, it is a good time to review it with your kids. The Center for Cyber Safety and Education has some free tip sheets on a variety of digital safety topics including cyberbullying
• This is a time when it is an essential to communicate with your kids and teens about their online life. Let them know that it’s okay to come to you if they are being cyberbullied. Encourage them to tell you immediately if they are being digitally harassed, cyberbullied, cyberstalked, or if they’ve been approached by a predator. Tell them you won’t be angry about anything. You just want to help them.
• Explain that cyberbullying is harmful and unacceptable. Discuss appropriate online behavior and make it clear that there will be consequences for inappropriate behavior.
• If your child does participate in cyberbullying, be willing to sit down and talk about why, and how owning up to their behavior and making an apology can go a long way in making things right again. Be prepared for the fact that your kids may tell you they thought they were only teasing or that “everyone was doing it,” but remind them that it is likely the person on the other end won’t take it that way. Ask your kids to talk to you if they feel tempted or somehow urged to do it again and search your own life and make sure you are not modeling that kind of behavior. Remind them that cyberbullying is a choice.
• If possible, try to be around when your kids are online on their phones, laptops and tablets. You don’t need to spy on them or stand over his or her shoulder, but just keep tabs on what they are doing online. This is also really good time to ban digital device use overnight and set up a charging station in the kitchen or other high traffic area where the devices will be left overnight.
• While it may not always be your favorite activity for them, allow and support your children when it comes to Skyping, Zooming and FaceTiming their friends, as well as livestreaming on their favorite apps (depending on their age, maturity, and your household rules, of course). Research has shown that socializing and connecting with their peers is essential for their continued healthy development and especially in the midst of chaos and uncertainty.